[06 Nov 2005 Sunday]
Threads
Current mood: disappointed
Category: Life
I've been thinking alot about the last fourty-five minutes.
I left the home of a friends with tears in my eyes.
Not, angry tears..
Not, happy tears.
Tears.
Just simply tears.
I came home to the same angry hostile scene I normally do..
And I wished I had paid the electric bill instead of buying this large variety pack of yogurts for the Anti-Christ in the kitchen...
I watched a movie called "Crash."
Of course, you've already seen it..
I have always been two dollars short and a week late.
Yeah, seriously.. that bad.
It makes me wonder..
if it's my soul or my ego that is larger?
This movie moved me..
I found none of it funny.
I saw the threads that designed the tapestry.
It was like fabric made out of human flesh and blood.
Did I see something that did not really exsist?
Or is my brain so much larger that it could tie these subjective threads together...?
Or maybe, somehow.. my soul is softer.
My heart greater.
My love stronger...
However, in the end..
I don't believe any answer is right.
I know that some of you believe I am a mess.
I know my family does.
However, the majority of public I come into contact with,
think of me as happy, light and laughter.
I see my self as an ocean.
Something that can't be controlled.
Can't be predicted.
I am influenced by so much.
The tides can cause devastation..and heart break.
That's what I feel right now,
Yet, I am not just the ocean..
I am the lost soul in the dark blue waters..
Hoping..
Praying...
Someone will save them.
Currently watching : Crash (Full Screen Edition) Release date: By 06 September, 2005
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