Do the Darn Dishes!

Life has been a series of errand running type moments. I have interviewed for and turned down a job. I have filed my taxes and need to run back to pick up the check. I have ran a block down the street with a laundry basket in my arms and I really need to do the darn dishes! Every morning someone calls me sharply on the dot. It might be 8am or 9am and then again at 10:30am, this morning I refused to answer the phone so that I could sleep in for a minute. I really needed the sleep seeing how I've had arm under my neck causing this horrible crick from time to time. *sigh* It felt good to get some rest rest.

When filling my taxes with the same elderly woman I have for years, I found myself the object of an odd statement. I said to the woman: "Thanks for squeezing me in *******" and she responded with "No problem you're fast, in more ways than one!"

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Last night, I dreamt that there was a room full of people standing around trying figure out what to do with the heart like item that each of us held. There was another person walking around telling each person what to do with it. Some people had figurines, some had stuffed hearts, some had plastic heart shapes and this person seemed to know what to do with each of them. So he/she walked around sticking hearts on a sleeve with tape, putting a heart in a back pocket etc etc. My heart I had given to a person. My heart was on a wooden jewelry box that I painted pink with glitter and I glued on a little red heart shape. I gave this jewelry box bearing my heart to a person who hated it. In fact, this person showed it to two other people who also ridiculed it, calling it nothing. I woke after yelling at these three "horrible mean assholes." I also yelled how I took the time to craft this piece just for the person I gave it to in mind, I woke up crying. I hate it when I wake up crying.

Answers in Dreams

I have always believed that there is more to our dreams than we may really understand. I have spent many hours over the years of my life trying to discover the hidden meaning in many many dreams. When I was younger I was plagued by horrible nightmares each and every night, it was torture to think about falling asleep. As time went on, I learned how to be aware that I was in fact dreaming - lucid dreaming. I developed ways of exiting or changing my nightmares and eventually stopped having the nightmares on a regular basis.

In my dreams I learned to fly. This took years, awkward at first and eventually something that was truly an enjoyable experience. I even sprouted wings out of my back, much like a dragons. This might sound crazy to most people but it has been almost a nightly experience for me. Years and years of learning how to remember dreams, experience each to it's fullest and try to understand it.

Last night, I had a very clear and important dream. Or at least, I think it is. The series of images, the journey through out and the clarity makes me believe that it has a purpose. I have yet to really try and define this dream, I have spent most of the day recollecting each and every aspect of it. I am trying to burn it in my brain so to speak, I am going to spend some time tomorrow trying to unlock it's definition.

I am not really going to describe the entire dream in this entry as I feel it's more personal to me however, I am going to list some of the things I feel are key elements to this dream.

• a ring of sleeping women head to toe, dark hair flowing
• a trial or test with possible consequences
• stacking books, letters into a tower (part of the test)
• being led to water by a "friend"
• a dark animal in the water masquerading as good
• escaping the monster revealed
• leaving someone changed behind
• standing alone in a sky so thick and black like real velvet looking back at the person left behind standing in a door way in the sky

OK, so you are probably going to read that and think I am nuts, maybe I am. The images through out the dream will be in my brain forever, I just hope I am describing them to myself correctly in remembering.

The Dreamer's State of Mind

I have always been a dreamer. I dream at night and while I am wide awake. Lately, I have been having a multitude of colorful,vivid and slightly disturbing dreams. Anywhere from traveling down a river called "Hate", watching a horse with no legs dying and a strange man grabbing from me from behind demanding a cigarrette (even though I don't smoke) and then telling me "it's over." Then there is the dream where I gave Clay Aiken a foot massage...

I really don't know what this all means.